On the loading platform.

I have absolutely no idea if I am putting to much or not enough emphasis on the importance of today. 

Tiffany just finished her blood test, and in a few hours, we will get a call about the results. 

Are we pregnant? 

Last night I had a moment, sitting on the couch with Garret and Marshall (our dog, an incredibly lovable 7 year old boxer mutt). And just thinking how in less than 24 hours, the entire fundamental concept of us could change. 

I mean, I know that we have thought about and imagined a child in this house, thinking what it would be like, how would we parent in this or that situation… An idea is one thing, but this, this could be an entire paradigm shift, one that I do not know yet what all that brings. 

Let me do my best to make this current feeling something relatable, by at least the nearest equivalent to anything I have personally felt before.

Right now, I am sitting at home on a break from work. In my head, however, we are standing in line for a ride at Universal Studios, (or for anyone following, insert the name of an Amusement Park that you have attended greater than a weekend with a season pass. A place that either you or a loved one spent the money, time, and effort to plan. THE family vacation level Amusement Park of your choice. And this is THE ride you have been waiting for.

Anyway, the whole process of the surrogacy thus far has been like the queue of a big fancy ride: painstaking detail was taken in crafting an engaging way of waiting in line for your turn. This queue, with all its twists, turns, and many hours on our feet, has only heightened the whole experience. Never at all boring.  

We continue to move through this metaphorical queue, we met some very cool people, struck up a conversation, and decided that it would be a blast to link up and ride in the same car together. 

Tiffany’s blood test this morning was like passing the turnstile; we can see the roller coaster train ahead of us as we wait on the loading dock. We are excited, but cautious, because we know that sometimes a coaster can be delayed (you know, sometimes the weather is unfavorable that day, or some minor maintainence issue holds the queue. The type of things that can happen, no fault of anyone). 

We are doing our best to try and temper our expectations; this is a ride that we have imagined and anticipated for so long. We have heard such incredible and scary and wonderful things about this ride, all of our loved ones have shared stories about what the ride was like for them. We can read all the reviews, ask all the questions, watch all the YouTube videos, and still so much more is left to the imagination.

We are waiting in line for a roller coaster, but multiply that to the power of some currently large but unfathomable number and you would be close to what I am feeling right now. 

We are just an unknown few hours(?) away from finding out if today is the day we get to walk past the little gates and take our seats. 

*For any non-roller coaster enthusiasts out there, my apologies.

2 thoughts on “On the loading platform.

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