Night before Ultrasound

Fun fact: Among the many tests that have been run on the embryos prior to implantation is a test on the biological sex.

That is wild to us. Picture two 30-somethings in a doctor’s office plugging their ears and going “la la LA LA LA”. Full disclosure, we have both legitimately done this if either of us felt like any medical professional (who, again, absolutely know) might be about to reveal that information to us. This event has happened an adorable amount of A LOT. (Sidebar: much love to our medical pros so far; y’all are rockstars).

When time for implantation came, we both agreed with absolute certainty that we wanted the healthiest embryo to be implanted first; for us, agreeing to implant the embryo with the best chance for survival meant more than feeling like we were choosing the sex. It will be rad parenting whoever they are!

Now, we are not planning to wait until the birth to find out for ourselves, oh no, we have not the patience for that.

Which leads us to the crux of this post. Tomorrow is our first ultrasound, and by all of Tiffany’s personal accounts and hormone level updates, things are going very well! G & I agreed that we wanted to make sure, at minimum, that we were sure that the pregnancy took before we were comfortable with finding out the biological sex. The first ultrasound might be that threshold.

Something important to know about Garret and me: Garret likes having all the information that is possible to know when it is appropriate to know it. He is not a fan of the unknown, especially if it is possible for him to know. He read the entire wikipedia article on the movie “Parasite” before we sat down to watch it last week, as one example. I, on the other hand, discourage spoilers. I will “la la LA LA LA” when previews for next week’s “Better Call Saul” or “Star Trek: Picard” play after that night’s episode. I also get really frustrated with most movie trailers, but this is quickly becoming a whole other thing…

There is something tempting about considering if I/we want to learn the bio sex tomorrow; until two days ago, that’s what I thought we both were leaning on doing. And then I learned that during a typical pregnancy the bio sex is not commonly known until 20 weeks. 20 WEEKS. You mean, the halfway point?! And tomorrow’s ultrasound is 7 weeks?? Now I’m here thinking… maybe that is too early for ME to want to know.

Surrogacy is such a wild and weird (and wonderful) process, but a typical pregnancy it ain’t. As much as I want to know as much as I can possibly know about this kid, I’m sitting here wondering if finding out early is a bit of a spoiler. Like, with all the wild and weird (and wonderful)… for me it might be kind of nice to experience something at a time when other people typically learn stuff through the process.

One of the biggest reasons I am not a fan of spoilers is because there is craft in telling a good story; I want to know exactly the amount of information that I need at that point in the story, and I trust that things will unfold in interesting and unexpected ways (the manner in which the craftsperson intended it), and it all makes sense in the end. That way I feel like I can appreciate both the narrative AND how the story was told.

We (G & I, Tiffany & Stef) had dinner and hung out tonight, talking about all manner of things like we do, and we came to an agreement. Garret & Stef will learn the bio sex tomorrow, where Tiffany & I want to wait until the anatomy appointment (that 20 week mark I mentioned earlier).

Let’s see how it goes!

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